Selena Gomez Captured And Turned Into A Sex Slave By ISIS
Glorious news brothers! As you can see in the topless photo above, Selena Gomez has been captured by the brave jihadist freedom fighters of ISIS.
According to reports Selena was picked up outside of the Del Taco on La Brea and Melrose. Our sources in the Islamic State tell us that Selena was chloroformed, stuffed into a van, and then taken to the port were she was transferred into a shipping container destined for Damascus.
Upon arrival in Syria Selena was transported to ISIS held land on the Iraqi border, were she eagerly volunteered to provide sexual services in exchange for her life. Unfortunately for Selena none of the ISIS mujahideen were interested in getting the stench of taco grease on their meat scuds, and so she was scheduled for a beheading at dawn. However, Selena was granted a last minute reprieve when it was discovered that due to her extensive donkey show experience she has a way with animals. Selena is now head concubine for the war camel brigade, and the animals’ morale has never been higher.